...and let her die? She has little ability as far as being able to move, walk, talk like she used to and needs care 24/7 with everything. She's been in the hospital for the past 4 weeks and gets worse daily. She is on blood thinner, insulin, heart meds and other geriatric meds. She's hooked up to oxygen because she has trouble breathing; she panics. She has no pain (she says) but she is terribly uncomfortable, I think because her mind is still functioning at a congnitive level where she knows that something is seriously wrong this time around and knows that the inevitable is around the corner. My brother says we should take her off all medications, leaving her only on oxygen, because the quality of life she's experiencing now is almost non-existent. He is going to ask her if she wants off all meds. Is she at a point where she is coherent enough to answer this, or is my brother facilitating an early death? Should she have to suffer the way she's suffering now? I can't make this kind of decision.

If she can communicate her wishes to you, follow them.

If she can't... Your family must come together and make the decision together. Not agreeing on something like this is not the legacy that she will want to leave behind.

You need to speak to her doctors and a priest.

Good luck.

Well this is not a question any of us can answer. This is something you need to talk to your mother, and her doctors about. I can tell you this though. Personally, when I get the the point where my quality of life is bad, I would like to be allowed to "die with dignity" Some times it is better to let nature take its course.

it is her right to decide upon her life, because it is her life, talk to her and try to understand her wishes at the present moment of time. If she herself in this condition did not express a wish to stop all meds, may not be what she wants, so talk to her and follow her wish. Following her own will, will be the best way to serve her.

i would talk to the doctor or hospital priest //

I am going through exactly this with my Grandfather. He's been in pallative care for 8 years (several cancers, copd, you name it). Mum has decided that if he had trouble breathing, etc, she wont be calling an ambulance. He's just gone onto morphine - which really is the end for people as you find that people who are THAT sick and then take morphine don't generally hang around for more than a few months.

I was furious that they decided to do this but the more I think about it, the more I think she's right (it was his idea in the first place).

Having said that, he's been alive for more that 8 years after they first said he was a gonner. Every now and then he'll have a few really good days. I don't know how many good days are left for him but I would hate for Mum to take away those few days that may be left. It's a really difficult situation.

I'm not religious but I do think speaking to a priest may give you a different perspective and help make things a bit clearer. That's what I plan to do in the next week or so.

Very best of luck to you and your family.

...nicely said. A lot of soul searching and prayer will help. I hope you find peace with your decision...

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Wishing you more......Cheers, Bob