with my first gf I got ed when she went down on me both times. then we broke up. my second gf I took my time with having sex and it still happened again but I did have sex although most of the time I was high. i do not smoke anymore, and still hold somewhat of a fear for this displeasure I seem to run into. she also got super mad and ended up telling a bunch of people out of her frustration. i know thinking only makes it worse, but it has somewhat deteriorated my self esteem in this area over the past year and i am wondering what to do. i am not looking to have a gf, because I do not feel it is a good time, but i want to have sex. girls do not make me nervous, but for some reason I cannot keep things going. please help!

you should consult a doctor. perhaps the doctor can find out what is your exact problem.
He might recommend you to take pills,, which will make you feel better.
If you are drinking, stop drinking. Alcohol also may cause ed.
in the mean time, stop thiking about your ex, and make yourself busy with more value add things.

quit the weed and sex.

sex is for intimate couples.